carllyxt's Blog

He's decided to come back. To pick up the pieces of my old shattered self and revealed the new me. The new me that has evolved over the summer. The new me that is ready for love. Well, i guess. 
I'm ready for him. I'm ready for the big open door into his heart and soul and i know that he will let me in because i have let him in. But I know that this is the last time for him because he will be moving in May. Or June or whatever. It breaks my heart to think about it but there is a large chance that it will actually happen and i'm not sure if i will be able to move on from this. But i have to face the facts and live like he's dying.

originally wrote on March 5, 2011

Heartbreak exploding the insides of me. i can't believe my life. It's so confusing sometimes. I just want to.......................ugh. I miss him and when he talks to me it's like I feel a sprint of enlightenment. When he doesn't it's like i'm so sick i'm going die. He told me that my BUDDY told him that I wanted to ask him out. I couldn't say anything. what I should've said was:

"Well. . ."

But, I choked up. And he smirked.

Wow.He smirked.

So much, I just want walk up to him and. . .

Seeya.

I feel so many things right now because of you. You make me feel like I'm floating when I'm around you and then when you're away I feel as if I've been ran over by a truck. Why, why do you keep doing this. It hurts but I love it. I've changed a lot because of you. You were my love, my life and you will always be. If It's true love, we will be able to work it out.
Love you!

Hello. I feel overwhelmed with fear and suffering. Tommie and I went back out for about a week then PLOOF!
He just started flirting and asking other girls out. Whenever i'm around him i just gulp down my feelings and pretend to fine but it's not working. I tried music to heal my open wounds but it so did not work. I'm still slowly healing but i can't stop thinking about memories like
April 7th, when he came over my house for 3 hours and i was wearing those dumb torn shorts. That night i called him and I was watching Nick & Nora's Infinite playlist. Then i had to explain the movie to him because he said everyone was talking about it and he never watched it before. So after that we kinda said our feelings to each other and kinda cried. Well, i did atleast. I don't  know if he did.

Well . . .*sigh*

There was a special guy in my life not too long ago.But, I feel as if he stomped on my heart and burned it but no.He influenced great happiness and lovely memories.I will forever remember his sweet touch and Coca-cola smell.I care for him and hope he still does the same for me.Unfortunately, he is in my main class and it hurts to look at him but i'm fine and wish that maybe someday in the future we will be together again.

Love you always,chipmunk

have you ever felt useless for no reason?thats how i feel.i tried to make an acount on that second life thing,but they said the registry things were down.im not going to do it anyway.my neighbors were begging me to come out.i said no,cause im a big fat couch potato.do you think i am?i eat so much now.i think about excercising.we have a gym just downstairs,but do i use it ? no! a girl my age,117 lbs.thats why im mad.you get to go and shop and fit the clothes without anything sticking out.eccept your chest.you dont have to worry about sucking in your skinny but fat stomach.this is not even why i wrote this.first it started at useless now fatness.i could just backspace all of thisbut,all this typing would be a waste of time.

people just write their blogs and check for comments we all do it. if u don't then i'm just crazy .please comment on my blog.it may not be ''interesting''  or''exciting'' but at least i'm typing if you don't like it,post a comment and do something else.i'm seriously typing a blog about this.this is the reason i came to this website,to 1.blog 2.get commented.i dont care if my numbers r small and yes i know y.(to number things you are going to define at the bottom of the page)please comment.thank you.

when i think of the word dude i always think of some old guy with viagra saying,''hey sweet thing,wanna go for a ride?''thats why i always say old dude.make sure  you never ever yell the word dude out loud.a swarm of old dudes with viagra may come up to you and be like,''you look mighty fine,sweet thing.''if that ever happens kick 'em in the butt.just say,''turn around and i'll show you my sweet thing.''then kick them as hard as you can.you may even send them to the hospital.who knows.

im always sleepy.when i finally sit up i notice i wasnt sleepy at all.my mind just led me to beleive that im sleepy.after some good stretches and bends i feel good.when i lay back down i feel sleepy again so i have to do it all over again.then i repeat this for hours until i notice it is 6pm.i get really mad and tell myself im not gonna do that again but the next day i do.but that day i decide to eat break fast after the second time even though its 12:59

i love the morning.im always hangin out with my parents.its always weird when my father walks through the kitchen with just underwear on.his chest is very hairy.like three slit pillows with black cotton.once i tried to confront him and he said,''It's my house and i can do what i want in my house.'' i was like ok dad.my mom only sometimes walks through with her bra and underwear on.usually she just walks through with clothes on.breakfast time ,is weirdish im always alone in the kitchen during breakfast time.eccept on school days.when i turn on the tv out of nowhere my moms like,''turn the tv down''  im like ok.even though just seconds ago she was ''asleep''.and the tv wasnt even loud.